Writing ‘About’ pages and introductory bios never fail to illicit a sense of existential dread. Who am I? What am I? What is this?
All I really wanted was a place to document my pensive ponderings, absent of judgement, anxiety, and most of all, fear.
Over the years, my bursts of creativity (whether it be of songs, poetry, or facebook rants) reveal a common thread: a search for meaning, a search for answers, a way to mediate the little monsters in my mind who chip away at my spirit and hope and fortitude.
For so long, I thought alleviating others’ pain was the antidote to relieving my own. I studied international development for five years driven by some inexplicable compulsion to resolve what I thought were some of the world’s most complex issues, which led to the greatest suffering.
But I started to realise that while it may be painful to watch the world burn helplessly from the sidelines, trying to douse external fires while burning out in energy and spirit was the most efficient path to exhaustion and self-destruction.
So I’m trying to shed whatever self-constructed guilt, obligation, fear, sorrow, and negativity I’ve collected over the years, and just be… try to find peace… just for me…
I guess that’s what this blog is about?